Now THAT is Crazy!

Okay, maybe not THAT crazy but in honor of Halloween, I am going to share some crazy coincidences. Weird!

1. I have two brothers, one was born on my grandpa's birthday, and the other brother was born on my great grandpa's birthday- both on the maternal side. A little freaky, right!
2. Back when I was a dater, I was dating two guys at the same time (it's OK, they lived in different states so no foul there- Sam, Briggie- don't even TRY to call a "trashy" on that one!) and they had the same birthday (a decade apart). What are the odds? When that birthday rolled around, I absolutely gave them the exact same gift. It's hard enough to think of one good gift, I wasn't about to over exert myself and come up with two great gifts.
3. Ammon's mom and my mom have the SAME birthday- year and everything. Crazy!
4. My kids' birthdays fall on the 12, 13, and 14 of their birth months- trying keeping that straight when someone asks you spur of the moment for your child's date of birth. I usually just pick one and if it doesn't come up in the system, try another- worst case, it takes me 3 tries. OK, that's a bit of an exaggeration (I don't want my kids to think I don't know when they were born), but when Ryder was first born I really did keep giving the doctor's office his month with Boston's day with Ryder's year. I'm getting really good at it now.
5. There is another good one about Ammon's social but he won't let me share it- party pooper! I mean, what's the worst that could happen? Some people are SOOOO paranoid. Just kidding babe!

OK, now tell me your best one- leave me a comment with some freaky she-haw!

Who is That Crazy Woman???

Sometimes Ammon takes his work conference calls from home. I love having him home BUT it presents an issue as my kids are obsessed with following him around when he needs them not to, and thus I have to work overtime to keep them away from him. The second I turn my back, they sneak into wherever he is on his call which then presents me with the near impossible task of trying to retrieve the perpetrator without making any noise (which doesn't seem that hard since kids tend to be so compliant when told NO- I just haven't mastered it yet, what's my problem??? I'm still waiting for the time when the child will smile at me sweetly, mouth the letters OK while making the OK gesture with their fingers and follow me out of the room). All in all, the situation is wicked fun! A few weeks back, Ammon was in our office on a call, and I was going crazy trying to keep my kids (especially Boston) away from him. In the midst of it all, Ryder desperately needed a diaper change. I changed him as quickly as I could but since I lack super powers (at least in diaper changing area- and keeping kids out of the way during conference calls area), Boston had seized the opportunity and was living the dream in the office, right next to Ammon. When I walked in he was busily playing nickjr.com (I wonder how the people on the call were enjoying the Diego theme song). I decided my best way to retrieve Bos with the least amount of noise would be by way of sneaking up on him and hoisting him over my shoulder- all of this done at mach speed so that by the time he realized what was happening we would be only seconds from the door. I was mid sabotage when I heard Ammon say the magic words, "Great, thanks" and then push the hang out button. This gave me permission to get Boston out of the office as loud as I wanted (now THAT is liberating!). I was SOOO frustrated that I said loudly (I promise it wasn't a yell- I think I missed the cutoff by a decibel or some sound measuring bit since I'm not really sure if 1 decibel is a lot or not), "BOSTON I HAVE TOLD YOU 30 TIMES TODAY NOT TO COME IN HERE WHEN DADDY IS ON A CALL. GET. OVER. HERE. NOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (said in that mean, scary mom voice that makes me wonder if just maybe I may be part witch). I was getting ready for part two of the reprimand when I heard Ammon say into the phone (which now that I looked realized it was indeed still held up to his ear), "Hold on, one second." ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????????? So, I noiselessly picked up Boston, tiptoed out the door and looked for somewhere I could hide for the REST of my life!!! Seriously! Seriously! A few minutes later, Ammon came out and I was bawling saying, "I am so sorry! I am so embarrassed!" repeated like 20 or 30 times. He tried to make me feel better by saying that during the alleged "hang up" most of the people on the call really did hang up. I asked who had heard me and he said he thought it was just him and his friend/coworker Cory (who is the father of 6 so I hope that means he's heard this sort of tirade many, many times but knowing his wife (superwoman Lori) he probably has never heard her yell at the kids which then leaves me looking even more psycho!!!). I was also concerned, and still am to this day, that Ammon wasn't positive no one else besides Cory was still on the phone. I'm wondering if he couldn't remember because he didn't want me to be devastated further by letting me know his boss and boss's boss along with a couple of clients as well as Cory were deep in discussion before they were rudely, and shockingly interrupted by some nut job yelling (I mean speaking loudly) at her innocent baby who was just trying to enjoy a quick game of Diego. In the end, I'm left with asking myself repeatedly, why? Why does this happen?

Nothing Much to Tell

So, basically, Ammon is out of town, my kids are sick, and I'm feeling overwhelmed. Doesn't really make for a great week, right? Tonight one of my friends asked me why I haven't posted in a little while and I decided that the reason is, I'm no good at writing unless I have something funny that happened (thus, as much as I would LOVE to write a book it ain't gonna happen because I'm awful at making up stories- just ask my kids!). So, I looked through my pictures on my camera and decided there are a few pics to post and stories to tell. Here goes:

First of all- Happy October to everyone.

Second, yesterday all three of my kids were crying at the same time (the sad thing is, it's pretty common in our world). I wanted to capture it on camera so one day in a long, long, long, long time, I can look at it and think, "ohhhh, the good ole days". BUT, as soon as I got my camera out, everyone stopped crying, of course. I tried to get them to reenact it but it just looked like they were laughing. And YES, the majority of the time, my kids don't have pants on- they're just so restricting (you know you wish you could be pantless too!).

Third, what is it about the fake, nasty teeth that I find so incredible? I think they are hilarious (joke NEVER gets old!). It reminds me of high school. I had this good friend who had really jacked teeth (bless his heart- it's OK to rip on someone if it ends in "bless his heart", then it's not mean spirited) and one night he and his buddies came over to my house. My friend's teeth looked especially jacked that night (like I was pretty sure they were fake but not positive) so I decided not to say anything, just in case. His friends were all laughing and I was trying not to laugh, just in case. He kept trying to kiss me and his friends thought it was hilarious but I was too nervous to say "dude- what's up with your teeth" just in case. Anyways, I love the fake, nasty teeth.

Finally, what is it about a pedicure that can bring almost any day up a whole letter grade (like if you're having a solid C but then get a pedicure, it becomes at least a B, maybe even a B+ if the foot massage portion of the pedicure is above and beyond). Seriously, they're stellar!

Still Trying to Master the Difference Between Accidents (as in Car Crashes) and Accidents (as in Peeing Your Pants)

Brooke: "Wow, look at all those fire trucks at Jacobson Park; there are 5 or 6 of them. I wonder what happened."
Boston: "Maybe somebody peed."

Counting My Blessings

Today at the grocery store (my least favorite place besides Garden Ridge because that place gives me a headache), we had an incident. In the midst of it, I decided to try and look on the bright side. Here's what I came up with:
I'm really grateful Boston threw up at the grocery store because that means I don't have to clean it up AND I'm happy that I was wearing my flip flops as opposed to some expensive fancy shoes because when the throw up landed all over my feet, at least it didn't ruin my best shoes AND I'm thankful that the throw up was really sticky because that helped me to not forget to clean them once the barf had dried when we got home and I was racing around trying to get Boston in the bath and cleaning off his clothes, I didn't forget that my flip flops needed a good once over as well AND I'm grateful that when the incident happened and we were trying to find someone to clean up the mess and Tyler tripped and ended up sprawled out on the floor of the store screaming at the top of her lungs, at least I knew she wasn't unconscious AND I'm thankful that Ryder doesn't barf easily because the whole way out of the store, including the check out, Ryder was trying to make the same sound as Boston, and kept gagging himself and yet no vom ever made it out AND I was really grateful that the guy we found to clean up the mess thought I was cute so he was REALLY nice about the whole situation (which at this point besides the throw up on the floor included a screaming daughter and gagging baby) AND I'm grateful the store wasn't too crowded so only a few lucky people were able to witness the event and stand there with their eyes bugging out of their heads at us AND finally (and seriously) I am so grateful that we can go to a grocery store that is ALWAYS stocked with food and that if Boston gets too sick he can get medical care and that I get to be a mom and learn so much every day!!!!!!

Poor little sickie- he's at that age where he doesn't want to miss out on anything but he just feels miserable. PS- he's potty trained but underwear when stomach issues are involved just feels a little too risky!

I Get No Respect!!!

After watching this clip, you may wonder what is SOOOOO funny. It's got to be something hilarious, right? Well, here's the truth- Ryder's laughter is in response to me telling him "NO!" because he keeps splashing water all over. That's it. All I have to do is say, "No Ryder!" and he stares me right in my face and laughs. This can't be good! (sorry about the bum bum shots)

That's Not Something to Brag About

Every morning when I open my pantry, on the side of my granola bar box, I see a picture of a man in a navy workout suit, smiling at me. Underneath his picture it says, "Bob Greene- Oprah's trainer." Now, granted, Oprah is the richest women in the whole world and very powerful BUT for some reason, I'm not sure he's getting his "healthy living, get fit" philosophy across by citing Oprah as his client. Sorry that may be harsh but to me it feels as wrong as it would feel hearing someone bragging about being the hair stylist of Amy Winehouse or the etiquette coach of Britney Spears. Personally, I think some things are better left unsaid. Now, tell me you're Heidi Klum's or Cameron Diaz's trainer and I will eat the granola bars for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sign me up!

Denisha Sproul Photography

Yesterday we had family pictures taken by my friend Denisha (denishasproul.com). She is amazing. She is SOOO talented! Anyways, she sent me 5 for a sneak peak. Here they are. I am so happy with how they turned out. I was so stressed about these pictures. I have wanted for so long a family picture that I love (where everyone looks at least semi-normal, ya know). I can't wait to see the rest! I also need to quickly give out a couple shouts- first to Rodney for being the BEST Kertech (PLEASE tell me I finally got the name right!) holder and keeping my kids thoroughly entertained. Second, my friend Linda came with us and did such a good job keeping shirts pulled down, hair straight, etc- AND keeping my kids happy while Ammon and I had a few pictures taken. Linda truly is one of the NICEST people I know!

TAGGED!

This is a fun one I have never done or seen before. My friend Lori tagged me and the rule is, you have to post the 4th picture in your 4th folder in your pictures folder. Then give a brief description before tagging a few more of your friends. Here's mine:

This picture was taken this previous summer in Arizona at my in-laws house. The kids were running around being goofy and this was Boston's pose. My kids ALWAYS have such a fun time when we visit Arizona especially because they get to see their grandma and grandpa and cousins! OK, I tag Rachelle, Deedles, Lacey S, Lacey B, Erin P, Erin S, Chimmie, Mindles, Linda, Sarah, and Amy P (is that too many??- those are the people who comment most on my posts so I'm hoping to get a good response).

Randoms

General Relief Society Meeting
I love the quote by Elder Uchtdorf from The General Relief Society Meeting this last weekend (and unfortunately I'm going to have to paraphrase because on lds.org it has the other speakers' talks but not his. Weird!) when talking about being compassionate and serving he says- More important than the number of prayers we say may be the number of prayers we answer! I love it! I really enjoyed this meeting- as I always do. I always leave this meeting refreshed and grateful to be a woman and a member of the church!

Tyler's Joke
OK, you have to think really hard about this one but once you figure it out, it's hilarious!!!
"Why did they make the American flag into medicine? Because they wanted to hang it from the food!"
Alright, I was just kidding, I have no idea what it means! I was just hoping someone smarter than me would sit and ponder it and come up with some deep meaning that makes it the funniest joke ever. No?

Walmart Special
We were at Walmart last weekend (not by choice but rather out of convenience) and some lady yelled at her kid (who was probably about 5 years old), "You better stop touching that or I am going to beat the crap out of you." Seriously, if she's yelling that at a crowded Walmart, what does she say, or do, in private. SAD!

Maybe Not Quite
Last night Ammon and I were watching TV and there was this lady that looked familiar on the show we were watching. We were both trying to figure out what she was from, and Ammon was like, "I know, she's from that prairie movie you watch." I'm thinking, I never watched Little House on the Prairie. Then he was like, "Ya know, um, Pride and Prejudice." Hmmmmmm???